Stream of Consciousness

writing-101-june-2014-class-badge-2So, I came across a site called and they had a writers challenge going on.  Part of why I started a blog is because I enjoy writing, and I want to become a better writer.  So I thought this would be a great challenge to try.  It looks like they are on session 201, but I wanted to start back at the beginning.  So I looked up the Writing 101 Challenge and here is day one!


You can write about anything you want, just keep writing.  So here it goes, I’ve set my timer….

Last night was wonderful.  John and I had been planning a date night for a while – it’d been a long time.  He’d been on so many trips and adventures lately, and life is just so busy, we hadn’t had time.  So it had been on the calendar, but we hadn’t really decided what we were going to do until our drive home from Virginia Beach last weekend.

We decided that we’d take the evening and go through our finances to see how we can tighten up our budget and our spending.  And take a good look around the house to see if there are things we have that we are not using that we could sell for extra cash to take care of some bills.

See, we also decided, during that six hour car ride, that we were going to adopt.  And while that was not really a new decision for us, we made more definite plans, and it became more of a reality.  We decided to become intentional with our decision and set some dates and goals.

We decided that we would work on our finances and try to sell some items that we no longer need/use to 1) get some extra cash and pay off some medical bills from those infertility treatments, and 2) make room in our house and current guest room that would become the baby room.  Then we decided that in September, we would look to see what we can get started on for the application process.  Try to have our home visits by the end of the year and be ready to have birth moms look at us as an option for their little bundle by the beginning of the year.

Honestly, I don’t know how long that initial process takes, I’m assuming months, but 4 might not be enough.  Who knows!  This is our first time at this adventure.  I also know that once we are ready and available, it could be months, years, or even a week or two – WHO KNOWS – until a birth mom chooses us.

It’s so unnerving that it could happen immediately, or it could happen in several years.  How do you plan for that?  We could get a phone call one day and have the baby in our arms the next.  At what point do we start to prepare the room?  At what point do we purchase all the furniture and baby items we’ll be needing.  I still can’t imagine walking past that front bedroom and seeing baby things in there but no baby.  Even though I’d know there would be one coming at some point, I’m not sure if I could emotionally handle that.  Is it ok to have a baby shower?  Or is that awkward?  I’d love to share this exciting time with friends and family, but how does that work for an adoption.  All these questions and things I just don’t know how to feel about yet.

There are so many decision we have to make, and I feel so clueless as to what the best answers are.  Like do we want an open adoption?  If we do, how open?  I’ve seen stories of very open, beautiful adoptions, where the birth mother almost becomes a part of the family…kind of like a favorite aunt.  She’s around for family events and is a big part of the child’s life, there are still boundaries, but she is there.   That sounds amazingly beautiful and scary at the same time.  I definitely need to look into that some more.

There are so many thing I need to look into, so much information I feel like I am lacking in.  I know there are several books we are required  to read from the agency we have chosen.  I have already ordered and received one, but have not started reading it yet.  One of my summer goals was to read 5 books, I have finished 2 and have started another, but maybe that one should be included as well….now that we’ve become intentional with this decision.


And there it is…in a 20 minute exercise I spilled the beans as to what our future might hold.  Stick around and enjoy the adventure with us.

“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness and who seek the Lord.  Look to the rock from which you were cut and to the quarry from which you were hewn; look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth.  When I called him he was but one, and I blessed him and made him many.  The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.  Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.” – Isaiah 51:1-3


One thought on “Stream of Consciousness

  1. As I am sitting here crying at my desk reading this. I know in my heart that you will have all your questions answered. There are not two other people I know that would make better, more awesome parents. You are both so full of love that any child whether born of your body or born in your heart could have a better Mom and Dad. I am so happy for you both and can’t wait to watch the story unfold!

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