How Long Will It Hurt?- Part 5

 To read Part 4, click here.

Well, it’s been a few months since I started this series in January, and a lot has happened.  But as I read through this series about how to survive a long trial, I knew I needed to finish it now…it’s too amazing how God finished this story to not share it with you.

Just a super quick reminder, I was sharing what God had been teaching me through the life of David, specifically in Psalm 13:

“How long, Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will You hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?  Look on me and answer, Lord my God.  Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome her,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.  But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.

(If you’d like to start back at the beginning of this series, click here.)

HOW LONG – DOUBTING GOD’S PLAN

“How long will my enemy triumph over me?”

When you’re going through a difficult time, it can seem that everyone and everything is out to get you.  But really there is just one enemy…and he knows just what buttons to push to draw you away from your Savior.

David said, “It’s no use. Saul is going to win. He has all the troops, resources, and time he needs. He will end up destroying me!” Do you realize what was really happening here? David was actually saying, “God, didn’t You promise me I was going to be the next king someday? But God, my enemy’s going to triumph over me! If it’s not the Philistines, Saul’s going to get me! But I thought Your Word said …” When David got to that point he was right where Satan wanted him. David was doubting God’s Word, God’s goodness, and God’s plan. By remaining in this doubt, we are giving ground to the enemy.

And that is about where I was when I stopped writing this series…full of doubt.

In the beginning of February, I was beginning to doubt that we would ever be a family of more than two.  I was letting the enemy fill my thoughts again with painful, bitter thoughts.  But thanks to a wonderful group of ladies in a small group study through a wonderful book I had already read, I was starting to fight back.  Starting to trust again…to trust for more…to hope again…for more.

GIVE LIGHT TO MY EYES

And that’s when we received a phone call.  Not from our adoption agency, but from a friend.  The phone call brought a possibility, a glimmer of light.  But it wasn’t until a little while after the phone call, that we realized just how much of a God-story this was about to be.

See, a few months before, a different friend of ours asked us to start praying for a young woman who had recently discovered she was pregnant. At the time all we knew was that she was unsure what she should do or how she would care for her baby.

And so we prayed.  We prayed that God would bring her comfort, and peace as she faced this life changing event.  We prayed that as friends and family might begin to turn their back on her, she would not feel all alone, that He would be there and make His presence known to her.  And that as she tried to decide how she would love this child best, that He would give her wisdom.

God had been weaving our stories together even before she had made up her mind to choose adoption as the best way to love her baby. We put two and two together, and realized that the same woman we’d started praying for several months ago was now interested in meeting us to parent her baby.

Through two totally unrelated friends, God was writing our adoption story.

The next few weeks were a roller coaster of emotions.  And out of respect for her, we didn’t want to share much at all with anyone until we left the hospital.  That was one of the most difficult things – to be so excited about the upcoming possibility of finally adding a baby to our family, but to keep that excitement measured.

At any moment, until we left the hospital, she had every right to change her mind.  And although we had been waiting and wanting this for so long, we wanted to make sure she did not feel pressured in any way, at least from us.  We continually felt God’s leading, and were pretty confident that this was His plan.  But there was still the possibility for heartache, so we remained guarded.  Plus, this was potentially the beginning of a lifelong relationship, and we did not want to jeopardize it.

TRUST.  REJOICE.  SING.

But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.

When I led a study through Psalm 13 at a ladies beach getaway last October, one of the goodies we gave the women were necklaces as weekend reminders.  There were three different words we chose for the necklaces, and they were given out randomly.  My necklace said: REJOICE.

I hung it from my rearview mirror as a reminder.  I believed God had promised me children, and I believe Him at His word.  There was nothing left for me to do but rejoice in His goodness, I needed to keep my focus back on Him and the good He had already done in my life.

In Matthew 14: 19-21, Jesus praised God and gave thanks BEFORE the miracle of the Fishes and Loaves. Sometimes faith and trust means celebrating before the miracle happens, even when it doesn’t make sense.

“There are moments in life when you need to stop pleading and start praising.  If God has put a promise in your heart, praise Him for it…even if God doesn’t answer the way you want, you still need to praise through it.” The Circle Maker

I’m so glad He brought us to a place of rejoicing even before He showed us the beginning of our adoption adventure.  And I’m so glad we’re able to rejoice now as His story continues to unfold…

AceWeek1


“The blessings of God won’t just bless you; they will also complicate your life.” Circle Maker

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2 thoughts on “How Long Will It Hurt?- Part 5

  1. So thrilled that all has turned out the way it has!! God is good! He is a wonderful addition to your family and such a joy to your Dad and I!!! You both have been such an example to us of trust, rejoice, and sing. We are so proud of you! Love you all!!!

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